


A Question of Life and Death

by WarriorsSoul



Category: South Park
Genre: Bromance, Male Friendship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 09:40:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21034184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarriorsSoul/pseuds/WarriorsSoul
Summary: Butters, Scott Malkinson, and Jimmy are about to come to blows over the most important question ever. Who is Douchebag's best friend?





	A Question of Life and Death

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or Assassin’s Creed

AN: Warning for Language 

A Question of Life and Death  
In a corner of the playground at South Park Elementary Butters, Scott Malkinson, and Jimmy were having a very heated discussion.  
“B-B-Bullshit he helped me protect Lake Tardicaca. He would only do that for his best friend.” Jimmy stuttered  
“I’m his best friend. When we were playing Stick of Truth he took me with him on every mission.” Butters said  
“It doesn’t matter what he did when we played Stick of Truth we’re playing Superheroes now Butters, and I’m his best friend. I mean it was my death that unlocked his magical farts, and helped save the town.” Scott Malkinson said  
The boys eyes narrowed at each other as Butters, and Scott’s hands turned to fists. Meanwhile Jimmy’s hands gripped his crutches tighter.  
“Why don’t you just ask him?” Wendy’s voice dispersed the fog of anger over the boy’s.  
“Yeah that makes sense where is the New Kid anyway?” Scott asked  
“He’s home sick today.” Bebe who was braiding Wendy’s hair said  
“Well men it seems after school today we have a mission.” Butters said the other two nodded as the bell rang.  
Wendy and Bebe shared a look as they rolled their eyes and shook there heads, “Boys” they both said as they too headed into the school.  
It was a series of knocks that Douchebag’s Mom heard as she answered the door.  
“Oh hey boys are here to see him?” They nodded. “Well he’s upstairs but be quick he needs to rest.”  
With another nod the three boys headed up stairs and with Butters leading the charge he knocked on the door and peeked in, Douchebag was lying down on his bed, with an icepack on his head, covers pulled up to his face, and he had a mountain of tissues next to him overflowing to the floor.  
“Hey buddy how are you doing?” Butters asked  
“He’s sick Butters he feels like crap. If you were his best friend you would know that already.” Scott said  
Butter narrowed his eyes, “If you were really his best friend you would care about how he is doing.”  
“If-If-If either of you were his best friend you’d care about his health and finish this fast so that he can rest.” Jimmy said as he walked over to Douchebag’s bed. “H-H-Hey Chief we just need you to answer one question and we’ll get out of your hair okay?”  
Douchebag tiredly nodded.  
“Which one of us is your best friend?” Butters blurted out.  
Douchebag simply raised an eyebrow as if to ask, “Really?”  
Scott narrowed his eyes, “See now you made him mad.”  
“Well I was trying to get this done quickly like Jimmy said.” Butters responded  
“Don’t drag me into this.” Jimmy said  
Soon the boy’s argument just turned into background noise as Douchebag rolled his eyes climbed out of his bed and went to his closet, pushed aside his Assassin’s Creed costume and pulled out a picture. He then shoved the picture in the middle of the boys who stopped arguing and looked at it. The picture had all of them dressed in there superhero costumes holding hands, incased by a heart.  
“Is this your way of saying that all of us are your best friend?” Scott asked  
Douchebag smiled and nodded his head. A moment later he was tackled in a hug by Butters. Then Scotts joined the hug, and finally with a sigh Jimmy joined the hug as well.  
“Get well soon best buddy we’ll see at school.” Butter said as he gave Douchebag a kiss on the forehead. Scott and Jimmy waved goodbye and the trio of boys left.  
Douchebag rolled his eyes and climbed back into bed, his friends could be stupid at times but they were still his best friends. Plus Butters lips felt good against skin.

Thanks for reading, if have you any questions PM me. Please review, and check out my other stories.


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